How to succinctly tell the many, many tales of my oh so fun BPD? I will try not to ramble too badly. Life from day to day is generally much fuller of handling the BPD then you might think. We spend time with our friends which is always fun but also tends to be somewhat emotionally and straight up physically exhausting. Much in the way new parents are battling sleep deprivation, as well as a full lifestyle change, Melvor and I are suffering from some of the same. One bad day can throw us off of schedule for quite a bit, and our schedule is imperative to a happier Kumari.
Obviously we knew that I would have a many different triggers, but I don't think I fully realized quite how many new ones would crop up. It seems like every day I discover a new issue. It has actually gotten to the point where I can't fully remember my whole list of problems, then I remember that memory loss is one of them, and feel better. :)
If I were to ask one thing of our readership I think it would be for you to not judge me or anyone in my life too harshly. The daily stresses that my caretakers face are significant, and we make mistakes in judgement calls. We don't know what to do down to a formula, I'm pretty sure there are none for mental illness. At least not any that are successful 100 percent, as things vary so much case by case.
I think what matters is that we really are trying. Every single day is a struggle. Many days are an utter nightmare. I honestly sit in a corner, sobbing, not able to breathe from anxiety (and probably my asthma), and pray to be let out of my life. Melinda and Trevor sacrifice sleep, comfort, and their familiar lifestyle for me. My friends and theirs go out of their way to help me, and to be there for me. I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to all of the people who are supporting me and that I could not do any of this without them.
So go get BPD, you might make friends :) Birds of a feather and all of that... there are a lot of birds out there.
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