On Opening Doors and Handless People (How Not To Judge People With BPD)

OK, so this isn’t a great analogy on many levels.  Physical and mental health don't correlate perfectly. It could be argued that Handless Man is at fault for not wearing a prosthetic (but let's just assume that for reasons beyond his control he just couldn't -ahem- handle it on this particular day). Also, hands don’t regenerate (unless you’re the Tenth Doctor) the way emotions and mental conditions seem to have half a chance of doing so it would be truly absurd to yell at a double amputee for not getting over it.  But still, there is some truth to the absurdity of this attitude when applied to judging someone with a significantly less perceptible disorder such as BPD.

As feelings are not necessarily continually worn on ones sleeve (or interpreted correctly when they are), someone who is mentally ill can blend in quite well a good bit of the time.  This means that when you do need help or start acting a little, well, crazy (or emotionally unstable as the case may be) there may be a certain lack of grace or empathy as compared to someone with more obvious symptoms. Surely you can open that door with your own "clearly” capable hands!  There may come a point where you are as stuck emotionally as the handless man at the door but because no one else can easily see or perceive what you’re going through they find it ridiculous that you might need them to hold said metaphorical door for you.  Just get over it already!  You're obviously a fully-functioning human.  Except not really.

Expecting someone with BPD to be able to “get over it” the same way as everyone else, is as ludicrous as telling the handless man to grab the knob and open the door.  BPD is a very real disorder that involves controlling an abundance of strongly felt emotions, fears, and beliefs that may appear to be unreasonable and completely invalid from the outside.  The reality is that sometimes BPD can be as emotionally handicapping as being handless would be physically. Expecting someone with BPD to act or react normally in emotionally tense situations and judging them when they don't is akin to expecting Handless Man to use his (nonexistent) hands to open the door.


*Disclaimer: The intent of this post is not to belittle or otherwise make fun of people without arms. Handless Man is simply an illustrative tool attempting to show more tangibly how debilitating the emotional aspect of non-tangible mental illness like BPD can be.